I sleep a lot. Well, it's not quite sleeping. More of a void, just you and your thoughts. I like my thoughts. They're happy. The void faded into the store when I heard a question. "Um...where is the cow juice?"
My time to shine. "Hello stranger. Welcome to Value-Mart. What can I do for you?" "Cow juice? Which way is it?"
I pointed to his left, and said, "You're three rows off. Passed the canned cow."
He nodded, and said "Thanks. You're really helpful."
"Helping is my favorite!" I told him, floating three inches off the floor.
"Is it your hobby?" He asked me, wearing a sharp grey business suit.
I shook my head and said, "I wasn't programmed to have hobbies, Stranger."
He smiled with honest warmth, and asked, "Neither was I. You figure out what you like and explore it."
"What's your hobby?" I asked him.
He smiled and said, "I...never really figured that out. Too busy at the office, I guess." "Doing what? I bet it's important." I told him, crossing my arms.
"You know...its not. Mostly dogs eating dogs. Its not my hobby."
"What about humans eating humans?" I asked.
He took a step back in fear, but then composed himself. "You're joking.”
"I wasn't programmed to tell jokes, Stranger."
His eyes grew wide. "What exactly are you talking about?"
"People are eating each other outside of the store. They'll break in soon...no, they're already inside." I told him, happy to be of service.
"No...this isn't happening...its not..." The stranger said as other humans surrounded him. They all had fresh blood in their hair.
He looked at me with quiet desperation. "Can you help me?"
I shook my head and said, "Oh no Stranger, I'm not allowed to interfere with the customer's shopping experience, unless they shoplift something. Let me know if I can be of further service."
His screamed as the other humans descended on him.
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Could you please repeat?"
When he made no further response, I dissolved back into the void to await my next customer requesting help. I so loved to be of service.